LAST POST!

Ok, so most of you know well that I'm already home. This is my last Yellowstone post.
But I don't quite know where to start. So much to take in lately that I was lost in my own little world trying to hang out with Joey, Jordan, and Piper.
My dog died. It was almost the cherry on top. I almost broke down just there. Well, our dog. This goes to my family predominantly so yes, our dog. I thought about it so much before I got here. Considered asking but thought it sounded foolish "so how's the dog, is she still alive?"... Looks like I should have. I feel terrible I was gone, I didn't have that last time with her. At the same time I'm glad I'm gone, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. When I got home, for the last 24 or so hours I'd just taken it for granted. Nikki would be here when I got here. And she's just not.
Just below that is the hard time of seeing Michael just to leave him again. Two days approx. every 3 months. And sure enough next time I'll see him will be Christmas, I HOPE, which is approx. 2 and a half months away. He scheduled my planes home so he could see me off and say goodbye in the airport. Sweet thought, truly, but hard. It would have been so much easier, I like to think, if he'd left me Sunday evening for base, and I went to the airport Monday morning on my own. That way I'd have all Sunday night to cry and try to get myself together and such. But what's done is done. And I'm happy with how everything went, wouldn't change a thing. It's just that now it's all unloading so I cry for missing him, Nikki, everything. Every time I see him it gets harder and harder - not easier ever - to say goodbye, knowing I won't see him for another three months. He kept coming back for one last hug and I almost broke down in the airport. I cried VERY little - two or three tears max - in the airport, but I have MAD self-control skills.
Along with both of those things is leaving Yellowstone. I hated leaving all my friends there. All the people I'd never see again. Everything. How did Heather's date go? How are Sierra's plans forming? It's going to be a harder transition than I thought it was going to be, coming home and this whole life-style.


But I won't be depressing the entire night. On the upside I got to see my family. I got to see Jordan, and Joey, and Piper. Don't tell but Jordan is my favorite. I was kind of hoping it'd just be us so we could truly talk tonight, not the silliness of group stuff with the four of us. All well. I am home finally. I know that within a few days I'll be glad to be here. I just hate transition periods.

I really did get my tattoo. It's not like any of the pics because Sid - the artist that did mine - suggested a ompletely original work and I liked the idea and loved the picture. I have pictures taken but they're elsewhere. I MAY add one or two more posts of purely pics once I get them all up so that's where I'll put a picture of my tattoo. It didn't hurt super much. I did have to do some close-your-eyes-and-gasp-a-little to control the pain as much as possible, but still. You know how when you get slapped it kind of burns? Imagine that concentrated to where you can feel someone trace out a treble clef in that burning sensation. Yeah, that's kind of how it is. I think the worst of it is the knowledge that you can stop it at any moemnt but you CHOSE to do it to yourself. That you can't flinch or move under that pain, that you HAVE to sit there and take it, but you don't necessarily HAVE to, you CHOSE all of it. You know what I mean? and in all that it's all mind over matter, right?
Anyway, I'm beyond tired, so I'm going attempt sleep. Hopefully NOT until one though. Goodnight and I will probably talk back to you all some other time under a different blog title. Yup. Night!
~Cat