Today was my first day as EDR Manager. It was successful I believe. But it was... odd. I felt a very strange combination of being full of purpose and ideas and such along with being completely obsolete and useless and unnecessary.
I understand that I'm not useless and obsolete, but it's a different perspective from the sidelines. I spent a year and almost a half as a quarterback. Front line defense, the person people came to, the person who DID it all. Now I'm the coach, watching from the sidelines, and no matter how close I get to the action, I'm still just the coach. I hope this feeling will change. I know I'm smart enough and have enough answers to BE the one people come to and the front line defense again. I just need to convince these people I'm here to help, not take charge. And I think that is a difficulty they and myself are having. I am trying hard to help without stepping on too many toes, to do my job without getting in the way of them doing theirs. They, I think, are still unsure if I'm here to be a good manager or be in the way. I know when I get a new manager after I'm settled into a job I'm weary. I know how to do my job and I don't need managed - especially in a kitchen micromanagement is basically a BAD thing even.
I think for all these issues time will tell. They will either work themselves out or I will be a disliked - but effective - manager. I did not come here to be liked, I did not come here to be popular. I came here to do my job and to make this EDR better. I may be nervous and I may be anti-confrontational, but I WILL do my job, come Hell or high water.
Other than that strange feeling I think things went well. Will Standage was around and seemed pleased with how I was learning and seemed highly confident in my abilities and the way I was handling things.
It's funny, people kept saying it was a "total shitshow down there" and such... But really they've been carrying on fairly well in the absence of a manager. They did just have a cook quit so now we're down to just poor Michael learning to cook as he was thrown into it from a prep's position and has never done it before, but he seems to be a fast pick-up. But that didn't seem to daunt any of them. They're still bravely carrying on. And really I think the Canyon EDR in the first few weeks was more of a shitshow than this is. I think we'll be fine.
I simply think that I need to kind of "prove myself" to the crew. Make them believe in me, otherwise I'll be like Matt. For all I like Matt off job, he's a highly disrespected manager who is almost a hindrance to the EDR he's supposed to be managing.
I have faith. I think that's the most important right now. I have faith that by the end of the season I will be running a smooth and efficient and clean and organized EDR. "Just finish strong" Will keeps saying. Finish the season strong. Don't burn out, don't go lax, don't give up. NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER!!!
Any rate. I think I'm gonna hit dinner. I kind of want to get out of the park. Who knows. I'll probably just have dinner here. Eh.
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