So there's this guy.
His name is James. He worked for the Inn EDR as a cook. God only knows the man probably couldn't make grilled cheese....Regardless.
They call him - or at least I do - Drunk James. And everyone, whether or not they call him that, know exactly who you're talking about. He's always drunk off his ass on beer and his damnable potato vodka.
He is the ONLY person I've found who can make me SO belligerent sober that I want to fight. He is the ONLY person I've found FOR SURE who can make me so belligerent drunk - I who am normally QUITE a happy drunk - that I pick fights with people. It's not pretty.
I'm sober right now. Have been all day. (Important as this story takes place today) He's not. He's drunk off his ass.
SO story begins approximately last week at the pub. I'm drinking but not really drunk. Buzzed maybe. He's totally drunk. I'm wearing pigtails. He comes up behind me and pulls on one of them. For everyone who knows me this next line will not be a surprise. I turned around and slapped him. Hard enough to get the point across, that's all. He got shocked asked why I told him not to pull my pigtails. Turned back to my beer. He got all pissy and pulled my pigtail again. So I turned around and slapped him again. He did it a third time, I slapped him a third time. For those who know me you already know if I have to slap someone in succession, it WILL get harder each time. And you WILL not like it. If memory serves, like usual when I'm around Drunk James, I left after I was done with my beer.
Not a half hour ago, I went to friends of mine's room down the hall. He was there. I always extract myself promptly when I see him. This time I didn't. Cuz I'm stupid. A few minutes later "oh Cat c'mere" I was already standing, he stands puts one hand around the back of my neck to hold me still and slaps me with the other. He's so damn drunk that it had no force and barely made it to my cheek - he practically slapped my neck. Then he sat down. I just grinned at him and said "you're really bad at that"
Well so I sat down and everything is going okay. Then a few minutes later he stands back up. "I remember now! You slapped me a couple times! Come here" and I stay sitting. He comes toward me and is practically towering over me while I'm sitting on the bed working on my stitching. He leans toward me and says come here again and I put down my stitching bring up defensive fists and say "why?"
He goes "you slapped me a couple times at the pub the other night!" I said "you pulled on my pigtails. If you had pigtails I'd pull on them and we'd be even." he starts in on "I'm a blackbelt! I'm going to teach you a lesson" while he's pointing at me, I'm still sitting with my fists up and stitching down.
The entire scenario - me down, him over me drunk pointing and "going to teach me a lesson" - I am pretty sure I coulda taken him, but it was scary and pissing me off all at once. And I was afraid he'd do something and I'd beat his ass and get fired. Cuz like HELL I was taking more than the one shot out of courtesy. When he slapped me the first time I ALMOST told him it was his ONE AND ONLY shot. I shoulda. Even right now I want to go back over there JUST to allow him to pick a fight with me. I'm not afraid of the fight. At all. ANyway. I said to him "You teach me a lesson every time I see you" and stood up with my stitching, turned to Laurie (who was watching it all with apprehension) and said "teaches me patience and self control. See you later" and walked out. She just grinned and let me go.
She understands. She doesn't like him - she puts up with him for Dano. She's wanted to smack the grin off his face too. And she's seen me around him. The comments more biting and less sarcastic and more serious and the grin on my face getting more evil and violent and the look on his face more belligerent and violent such.
Anyway. Here I sit now. That's the closest I've been to a real fight in a VERY long time. And the scary part was that I was NOT afraid. I was READY. And next time the man lays a hand on me, I will not take it out of courtesy for the drunk who thinks I deserve it.
Wish me luck that I don't see him again.
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